Look At Me Now
by TheRoseShadow21
Summary: When it was her turn to introduce herself, she stood up. She took a deep breath, and for a moment, brought to mind the people who had tried to ruin her. 'Look at me now.' She told them in her head.'I'm here, and I have friends, and will have more.I Will discover my dreams and follow them.I am alive and happy, despite you.You will never haunt me again.'


"I'll be fine on my own now, Shin'ya." She whispered quietly. "After all, the world is so vast."

She looked out at the city, and felt her other self's joy as she, too, took it all in. The world was vast, but even Shin'ya, who had been helping her to cope all these years, hadn't realised this.

It was going to hurt, letting her go. But she had to. While she had helped her so much before, now that she had the chance of having a normal life, the coping method of changing personality at night was counter-productive. But Shin'ya had been supportive-she, too, wanted Mahiru to be happy, and gradually, they had worked together to get to this point. With some help from Risa, her psychiatrist and guardian. Risa had been a god-send for both of them. They had met at the psychiatric unit, and it was Risa who had figured out that the reason that Mahiru hadn't been making any progress in therapy was because her psychiatrist at the time was a man, and she was still terrified of them. Once Risa had become her psychiatrist, it was clear that she was unconventional, especially in how she regarded Shin'ya. While she knew that Shin'ya wasn't helpful to her now, she understood that once, she had been, and that she was still important even if she could not be seen. And this understanding was what allowed Mahiru to change for the better, and for Shin'ya to feel like she didn't need to intervene any longer.

When Shin'ya was no longer there to see the world, she could feel it in her bones. Her body had accommodated two people for so long, that when the one who wasn't technically supposed to be there left, the difference would surely be noticed. A tear escaped her eye, but she wiped it away and smiled. The breeze continued to ruffle her hair and her new dress, and then she decided to head home.

When Mahiru got home, Risa was flicking through a file and chuckling to herself. When she looked up, her chuckles became full-blown laughter.

"Ah, Mahi-Chan! You're never going to believe this."

"Believe what?" Mahiru came round and sat next to Risa.

"Take a look." Risa handed her the file and she flicked through.

"It's…my birth certificate and stuff, but it says I'm a whole year younger than I actually am?"

"That would be because you are a year younger than you actually are?"

Grey eyes met green eyes in confusion.

"What?"

"When you came to the hospital, burecracy was a bitch, and we had no way of knowing when you were actually born or anything. You were able to provide your name and birthday, but nothing else. You weren't really in a state to, anyway. Your sad excuse of a mother didn't help. So we had to infer. And now, finally, someone managed to track your records down, and turns out we were a year off. "

Mahiru thought about this.

"So technically I should only be starting high school this year."

"Yep! I'm looking into which high-school you could get into, given that your schooling has been…patchy, at best. Although your time at Myoujou could prove helpful. The same someone who found your birth certificate also found your school records. Unfortunately, we don't have a physical copy of the diploma, but that can easily be resolved. "

"I...I guess that's better than being a second-year transfer student. " Mahiru was still a little bit confused.

"Of course it is!" Risa said, cheerful as always "Now, why don't you come help me with dinner, and you can tell me about what you've been up to!"

**…**

Mahiru contemplated herself in her new school uniform in the mirror. The white blouse, green ribbon and black skirt suited her well. Unfortunately, Risa hadn't let her wear her trademark mismatched socks, but the school-issue stripy socks were just as nice, in their own way. She touched the scar on her face briefly, but she had never wanted to hide that and wasn't about to start doing so now.

She was just about to take of her uniform when the doorbell rang. She paused for a moment and waited for Risa-san to answer, but then remembered that she wasn't home. So carefully, she went downstairs and opened the door.

Haru Ichinose and Tokaku Azuma were standing outside her door. Both were in casual clothes, and Haru was holding a large bag.

"Mahiru-Chan! So you do live here! Is it okay if we come in?" Haru smiled. Mahiru hesitated, and then let them in. Haru had always been nice to her, despite everything. Tokaku hadn't been as nice, but then again, she hadn't been cruel either. She was just distant, and had been like that to everyone.

"Would you like something to drink? Or maybe a biscuit to eat? "Mahiru enquired, still hesitant.

"Yes please! Maybe some juice? What about you, Tokaku-san?"

"Anything is fine. " Tokaku replied. She regarded Mahiru evenly "You're a lot talkier than I would have thought. Isn't that Shin'ya's job?"

"Tokaku-san!" Haru scolded. Mahiru smiled, and shook her head.

"I … I said goodbye to her a while back." She said quietly.

"Ohh…" Haru seemed genuinely sad "Haru hopes she's okay though. "

"Why are you asking after a figment of her imagination?" Tokaku asked.

"_Tokaku-san_! That's mean! Shin'ya-Chan was still part of her!"

Mahiru giggled. She hadn't expected to giggle.

"It's fine, really. You-you're both right, in a way.I- I'll get the juice and biscuits. "

She got the juice and biscuits and put them on the coffee table. Haru complimented her school uniform, and Mahiru briefly explained about the birth-certificate mix-up.

"Who's Risa-san?" Haru asked confusedly after Mahiru had finished.

"She takes care of me. And she was my psychiatrist."

Haru tilted her head questioningly.

"Why would you need a psychiatrist, Mahiru-Chan?"

"Think about it, Haru!" Tokaku said, irritated.

_Now it's Azuma-san's turn to do some scolding_. The thought made Mahiru laugh. They looked at her in surprise.

"But you know." She said when she could finally breathe. "Risa-san is a bit different. For one thing, she calls me Mahi-Chan. She called Shin'ya the Nyan Cat, for some reason. It made us both laugh."

Tokaku face-palmed at this, but Mahiru could see she was amused. Haru was also giggling. When they had calmed down, Haru reached into the bag she had been carrying.

"Before Haru forgets! Here! This is why we came!" Haru handed her a black tube. Mahiru took it, and then saw it was a scroll of some sort. When she unrolled it, she could see it was her Black Class diploma certificate.

"Haru asked Mizorogi-sensei for them, so Haru find everyone and give them out! Because we all had fun in Black Class…when you weren't trying to kill Haru, that is!"

Mahiru blushed and Tokaku winced at that comment. Haru didn't notice.

"So anyway, Mahiru-Chan, congratulations!"

"Thank You." Mahiru rolled it back up, and then something occurred to her.

"How many of the others did you manage to find so far?"

"Erm…Nio on the same day Haru got these, which was about a month ago. Since then we found Haruki-san, Namatame-san, Hitsugi-Chan and now you. We know where Isuke-san would be but she's on holiday so we have to wait. Tomorrow we're going to see Shiena-Chan!" Tokaku nodded to confirm this.

Mahiru hesitated a moment, and then said.

"I've been exchanging emails with Hanabusa-san…I could always ask her when she is free…"

"Oh yes please!Infact, why don't we exchange emails and stuff? Then we can still be friends. That is, if you don't mind. .."

Mahiru shook her head.

"The past is the past. We can be friends. "The three girls exchanged details, and then Tokaku mentioned that they should probably go, so Mahiru walked them to the door , when something else occurred to her.

"Hey. You mentioned about Namatame-san and Kirigaya-san…I thought they were…"

"It was a very close shave. The knife missed Kirigaya's heart by a millimetre or something like that. They were apparently clinically dead for a few minutes. But medical miracles. Namatame is still very sick though. " Tokaku explained.

"Oh. I'm glad. That they're alive. "

"I think we all are."

"Yeah! We're all happy about it! Bye-bye, Mahiru-Chan!" Haru agreed.

Mahiru waved until they were out of sight, and then went back inside and upstairs to change out of her school uniform.

She could not wait for tomorrow.

**…**

The lists that showed what class the students were in were hard to get to, but eventually Mahiru had managed to locate her name under the register for class 1-B. She found the classroom easily, and went to find a seat. There were a few students in the classroom already, but she opted to watch them before actually going to introduce herself.

As students came in, a dark-haired boy noticed her and came up to her. As she was still wary of men and boys in general, she was instantly on-edge.

"You didn't come to my middle school, did you?" he grinned, but not in a way Mahiru liked, as he scrutinised her appearance.

"N-no…"

"Not from around here?"

"I…I moved to the area about 4 months ago. "This was a half-truth, considering half that time had been spent in a hospital, but she wasn't about to share that.

"Ooh. Well then, my pretty, perhaps after school I can show you the sights. "The boy leaned in too close, staring at her scar in particular, and Mahiru started to panic.

_Don't touch don't touch don't touch. _

"L-Lock the door." She made a key-turning motion with her hand, not thinking so much as feeling. The boy's expression changed.

"Eh? "Then suddenly, a hand appeared out of nowhere, grabbed the boy's shirt, and dragged him back. "The hell-?

"Oi, Aoba! You can't just barge into a girl's personal space like that! You'll scare 'em off!"

The hand belonged to a tall girl with pale mint-green hair in a side ponytail and eyes that were almost black. She looked fearless and confident. She turned to Mahiru.

"Sorry about that. Aoba here thinks he's God's gift to girls, and he's a bit of an ass, but our parents work together, so I know he's harmless really. Just ignore him and he'll calm down eventually. Oh, and I have no idea what you just said, but anything that renders him speechless is legendary in my books!"

"Erm…" Mahiru felt her body calm down, but was still a bit worried.

"Ah, sorry! I talk too much, I know. I'll introduce myself! I'm-"

The mint haired girl was interrupted by the teacher finally arriving, so everybody went to take a desk. The teacher went through the basic ground rules, and then it was time for each class member to introduce themselves.

The introductions were the part Mahiru was dreading, but luckily her surname placed her near the end of the register, so she had a chance to see what everyone else did.

The boy who had harassed her was Kazuto Aoba. He used most of his short introduction to look at the girls, and show of his grin, but Mahiru did discover that he was part of an Under-18s swim team. She took mental note of the others and how they introduced themselves, but didn't really absorb the information, until it was the turn of the mint haired girl.

"I'm Misora Kanzaki. Advance warning: I am not the person you want to ask for Maths notes, because me and that subject, we're lifelong enemies! But anything about stories, or scripts, or essays, feel free to ask. I am planning to join either the literature or the drama club. So yeah, pleased to meet you all. Hopefully, I'll be friends with some, if not all of you!" Misora had been looking around at every member of the class as she said this, and at the word 'friend' her almost-black eyes rested on Mahiru. Her gaze remained on Mahiru until she finished and sat down.

Mahiru wasn't sure what to make of this. Someone, wanting to be friends with her? She still felt a bit broken on the inside, a bit ruined. She was scared of men , had only just tolerated Mizorogi-sensei at Myoujou because he had instinctively kept his distance and at the same time been such a clown that she couldn't help but laugh at him sometimes. She still couldn't stand being in photographs, and even the sound of a camera or bright lights mimicking a camera could turn her into a whimpering puddle –the panic brought on was worse than what Aoba had triggered.

But then she thought of Black Class, of their surprising acceptance of her quirks, of Haru's infinite forgiveness. She thought of Risa, who had understood more than she could have hoped anyone ever would, who had encouraged her to this point where she could be in the world , with all her quirks. And Shin'ya. Especially Shin'ya, the first person she had known who had never harmed her. They were just a few people, but if they saw something her that was likeable despite what her mother and those men had done to her , then surely it followed others would too?

When it was her turn to introduce herself, she stood up. She took a deep breath, and for a moment, brought to mind the people who had tried to ruin her.

_Look at me now._ She told them in her head. _I'm here, and I have friends, and will have more. Will discover my dreams and follow them. I am alive and happy, despite you. You will never haunt me again. You will never touch me again. Never. _

Then, she dispelled them, and thought of Shin'ya, Risa, Haru, Tokaku and Sumireko.

"M-my name is Mahiru Banba. I'm relatively new to the area. I enjoy making stage costumes, so hopefully I-I'll get to join the drama club …even though I don't ever want to act…" she paused to look around and stopped when she got to Misora, who winked at her. She allowed her cautious smile to expand a bit and concluded with

"I hope that we'll all get along, and perhaps we'll be friends."


End file.
